Dear White People: No, It's Not "Equality" for You to Use the N- Word

There's an issue that crops up every once in awhile among the more "defensively" racist (by which I mean those racists who know that racism, as a concept, is wrong, but who still want to say racist things without being accused of being racist), and I seem to be seeing it more frequently since we got a uniformly Republican administration (to quote Bill Maher: "I always say not every Republican is a racist, but if you're racist and looking for a party...").  I'm talking about certain white people's attempt to justify their use of the N- word as "equalist", while -- wait for it -- accusing black people who object to their use of that word as the "real racists".  Their logic goes thusly: "If black people can use the N- word to describe each other, I can too!  And anyone who accuses me of racism for doing so is the real racist, because they're only picking on white people saying it."

I can't even count all the times and ways I've seen people of all races try to explain to this particular subset of people that no, that's not how this works.  The one attempt that sticks most in my mind is a black guy explaining along the lines of "it's like family -- you can call your momma ugly, but if someone ELSE calls her ugly..."  To which, of course, the predictable response was, "If she's ugly, she's ugly.  It's unfair if only certain people can say it" (bonus points if this response is accompanied by a rambling and uneducated diatribe about "free speech").

The thing is, if presented properly, this is... not an unconvincing argument.  If it's an insulting word, it's insulting whether it's said by a white person or a black one.  If it's an insulting-but-endearing word (a la, "OMG Jenny, you're such a bitch 💗"), then white people should be able use it endearingly too.  I was tossing this argument around in my head one day at work while determinedly avoiding said work, and then I realized another angle on the issue that I feel like I've seen so many try to explain, but perhaps not directly enough for these people.

It creates an imbalance of power.

The N- word is an insulting term no matter who it's used by.  Sometimes, it can be used casually, or even endearingly, by fellow black people (rather like female friends calling each other "bitches" endearingly), but it's still not a respectful term, even then.  However, the key about a term whose insult lies in a shared characteristic (being black, in this example) is that it applies to everyone with that characteristic.  When a black person refers to another black person using the N- word, whether insultingly or endearingly, the thing is... he's black. The term applies to him, too.  So, a black person using that term is technically putting the other black person down... but he's putting himself down with him.  The balance of power between them is maintained -- they're still on equal (though equally lower) footing.  But when a white person uses that term against a black person, even if it's intended "endearingly"... he's just "endearingly" putting the black person down, while not being put down himself.  Thus, creating the (racist) imbalance of power.

I hope that's a reasonable explanation, and that it makes clear to "equalists" why it is not, in fact, "equality" for whites to use the N- word too.  Their use of it creates the inequality they claim to so hate.  Plus, come on: just be respectful.

⚞  SnapDragon ⚟